I’m someone who gravitated a lot to doomscrolling to avoid the scary thoughts I was having about life. Losing the false security of my faith as a community, really isolated me but has liberated me. I get to choose what matters to me and what I want to pursue.
It’s difficult in a world that has external metrics for everything and anything, to find meaning for yourself. Especially when our brains handle numerical estimations better than qualitative and word-based abstracts.
I’m gunna give the busyness check in a try - its so important for me to step back once I feel like things are overwhelming.
It sounds like you're in the gooey stage of the cocoon, Demi, having lost your old source of security. And it's clear from your writing that you're not stumbling through things thoughtlessly but are actively creating the meaning and existence you imagine for yourself. I get the sense that you are quite courageous!
Let me know how the busyness check-in goes, I'd love to hear if it's helpful to you or not.
Yes exactly! You've worded it perfectly. I feel like I'm having to redefine basic things, like why I should even shower in the mornings, or why I am on this PhD to begin with. It's somewhat tiring constantly debating things in my head but I'm hoping with time, I'll find convictions that I'm willing to stand with, but also let go if more information proves them wrong.
I think that's the hard thing. When you've let go of something that harmed you for ages, you're too scared to carry anything. You don't want to carry anything in the fears that you become consumed by the thing, and then you lose yourself in it. But the very fact that you were able to let go of previous situations, shows that you can pick and choose when something resonates and when it doesn't.
I'll deffo let you know how it goes with the busyness check ins!
Really appreciate hearing this from you, Kira. Often feels like nobody actually reads what I write—there’s just so much out there, right?—so it’s great to hear that you enjoyed the post.
I’m someone who gravitated a lot to doomscrolling to avoid the scary thoughts I was having about life. Losing the false security of my faith as a community, really isolated me but has liberated me. I get to choose what matters to me and what I want to pursue.
It’s difficult in a world that has external metrics for everything and anything, to find meaning for yourself. Especially when our brains handle numerical estimations better than qualitative and word-based abstracts.
I’m gunna give the busyness check in a try - its so important for me to step back once I feel like things are overwhelming.
It sounds like you're in the gooey stage of the cocoon, Demi, having lost your old source of security. And it's clear from your writing that you're not stumbling through things thoughtlessly but are actively creating the meaning and existence you imagine for yourself. I get the sense that you are quite courageous!
Let me know how the busyness check-in goes, I'd love to hear if it's helpful to you or not.
Yes exactly! You've worded it perfectly. I feel like I'm having to redefine basic things, like why I should even shower in the mornings, or why I am on this PhD to begin with. It's somewhat tiring constantly debating things in my head but I'm hoping with time, I'll find convictions that I'm willing to stand with, but also let go if more information proves them wrong.
I think that's the hard thing. When you've let go of something that harmed you for ages, you're too scared to carry anything. You don't want to carry anything in the fears that you become consumed by the thing, and then you lose yourself in it. But the very fact that you were able to let go of previous situations, shows that you can pick and choose when something resonates and when it doesn't.
I'll deffo let you know how it goes with the busyness check ins!
This is such an insightful and meaningful post. So much to consider and move forward with. Thank you for this, Frances.
Really appreciate hearing this from you, Kira. Often feels like nobody actually reads what I write—there’s just so much out there, right?—so it’s great to hear that you enjoyed the post.
I feel this. Writing can be a lonely endeavour, especially when our subjects make people uncomfortable. I appreciate what you're doing.